If My Dad Left

If my dad were to leave and destroy our home,
I would mix up all the wires of both televisions,
The forty-six inch and the forty-inch Samsung
I would steal of his oldies CD’s out of his van.

I would leave the pole barn light on
In the morning and “forget” to
turn it on in the evening. I would
Steal the plug out of his Sea Nymph
And drain both boat gas tanks.

The Directv dish would be covered up
By a towel or pillowcase or umbrella
The parental locks would magically
Turn on and block Fox News and TCM
Almost nobody would know the code.

I would cut the Stren fishing lines and put
A hole in his old minnow bucket. I would
Take down the kennel where our dog Hat Trick
Used to sleep and I would destroy all
of the pictures we have of him.

If he came back after all this,
My dad would either learn to go on
without these luxuries or go crazy.
I would place my money on the latter.